"INSTANDITY"

At 5 a.m. on November 15, Two Thousand Every Year, I am whipping up a deluxe breakfast for all the big swamp buck hunters on our farm.  Day One:  Eggs sunny side up, grilled sausage patties, buttered toast with cinnamon pear jam, and a fruit and yogurt parfait topped with granola.  Day Two: Maple syrup covered waffles, sizzling bacon, english muffins and a pineapple chunk kicker.

Gramps is doing the coffee pot shuffle as he fills the thermos bottles, John sticks his head outside, consults his I-phone weather app, does the old lick your finger trick to verify the wind direction and speed so that he can then delegate hunters to a good spot.  If memory serves me right, he has 32 blinds and tree stands on our property.  Last I checked, that's 8 per man.

DEER CAMP VIRTUAL SHOPPING CART:

• Tinks #69 Doe-In-Rut Buck Lure
• Code Red Buck Urine
• Tactical Bacon
• Hot Buck Scent
• Scent Blocker Spray Set
• 52 StealthWildlife Cameras
• Rattling Antlers, Deer Calls, Laser Head Lamp
• Couple Jars Doe Estrus
• Dead Down Wind Spray
• Charcoal Suit, Sprays are just a start.

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:  The Butt Out Tool.

Really?  Is THAT necessary?

As the guys let the 'ol coffee work on their systems and get dressed, I get all the bag lunches ready.  Now here's where I have a little fun with 'em.  Each day I put something in there like hard boiled eggs, broccoli with dip, three bean salad, cauliflower, etc.  By day three, I make sure to put extra napkins in their sacks too.  Each lunch has a meaty sandwich, some jalapeno cheese, cashews, granola and candy bars, maybe some chips and jerky bites.  John texted me from his blind yesterday asking me where the almonds were in his Hershey Bar.  I texted back that he should be looking for deer instead of looking for his nuts.

Adam makes his way out to "his spot".  It became his spot when he was 14 years old.  John put the boys far away from him because he thought they would make a lot of noise and wreck his hunting.  Turns out Adam's spot has produced some real monster bucks on our farm so now Dad has to ask Adam's permission to hunt there.   So far, though, we haven't bagged anything this year, despite all that lovin' from my oven. 

Am I the only person who notices that all the shows on the Outdoor Channel are nothing short of obnoxious infomercials?  John keeps the TV remote flicking between football, Fox News, and the Outdoor Channel.

This gives me plenty of time to work up some stuff cabbage rolls or kielbasa for dinner.  My only hope is that it hits him like a freight train at half-time so I can watch Dancing With The Stars.







Some of the bucks harvested on our farm.