Hammer Time

The Dynamic Duo, Adam and Bryce, headed to the Meijer Store for supplies.  Antifreeze  for my camper and new windshield wipers for the "Sake-Sake" (a little Mitsubishi mini truck) were tops on our shopping list yesterday, before the big storm set in--predicted to be a real doozie.    That's generally how all their shenanigans start, just the turn of a key followed by a turbo kicking in.   As they were unloading their cart in the parking lot, Bryce noticed an orphaned case of beer in the bottom of an abandoned cart.  Miller Light, his favorite.

Thinking that someone forgot their empties, he went over to investigate. A sinister grin spread across Bryce's face when it dawned on him that The Beer Gods were shining down...it was a FULL CASE left behind by some poor, sorry son of a gun. Holy Hangover, Batman!  Bryce looked to the left and to the right. He assessed the risks, took a deep breath, and looked for possible witnesses.  He weighed his conscience --and the devil won.  He shot Adam a crafty look, snagged the booty, and Adam, ever intuitive in all things suspect, swung open the tailgate for the the score...professional partners in crime. 

TO THE BAT CAVE, IT'S HAMMER TIME.   

With such a great day going and luck on their side, Adam shot Bryce "the look".  It was time to check out Sake-Sake's 660cc, 4 speed, 4 wheel drive camo capabilites in the deep, snow covered fields.   He reasoned that a little drift busting would break her in right.  Sake has a ladder rack and fold down sides on the bed.  She's a real work horse despite her puny 1/3 ton rating and she is one of the slickest toys we have on the farm.  Adam thought the time was right to "pop her cherry."

A virgin field was selected as a prime testing ground--where all the maneuvers and (hopefully) aerial acrobatic feats that are borne from power shifting, speed, neutral drops, and testosterone  could be explored.  The snow had to be deep, the terrain had to offer opportunities to "catch air" and a deep water hole were basic needs.  This spot was "Golden".  Now the bets were placed.

Beating (I mean driving) new toys is a given around here.  Sake-Sake's steering wheel is opposite American vehicles.  You sit on the "passenger" side yet still shift in the middle, using your opposite hand.  Adam put the pedal to the medal and ripped down the road to the chosen field.  He rounded a corner on two wheels just in time to see a Mundy Township cop sitting at the end of the road, slurping on a cold latte and downing the last of a pink donut.  After crapping themselves, our Dynamic Duo regained their composure and parked at the end of a road, pretending to be hunters.  They got out of the truck and walked into the woods and "hid" until early signs of hypothermia began to set in.  Thankfully, the officer left after a little bit so the real games could begin!  Another bullet dodged.

Five minutes behind the wheel, and Adam had "the truck you can't get stuck" buried up the axles. He rocked it back and forth, cussed it out, blamed Bryce, until it finally dawned on him that Sake-Sake was da winna.  Not expecting this, and wearing only light clothing to go grocery shopping in, they both had to jump ship and walk back to the farm through the wet snow, in street shoes, to grab a tractor and a bunch of chains.  They would show her who's boss.   Little Sake came out easy, but not before both guys froze their petooties off.

Let's Dish

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year.  No presents--just family, food and gratitude.  A winning combination.

A set of new dishes makes everything taste better. That's the excuse I allowed myself for the "green light" to the cash register.   I had them stacked at the counter before I had time to change my mind.  Perfect. 



Lots of things have to happen before the turkey is ever violated and stuffed into the oven; important things (like getting my hair done).  I had my head in the bowl as the stylist was washing and working her magic on me when a guy, half my age, sat down in the next chair.  He began asking his stylist, the expert, what Thanksgiving was all about anyway.  He thought it had something to do with the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria.  She was pretty sure that was close but that Indians were somehow involved.

After trying not to listen to the bantering and the outrageous guessing, I sprang into action.  Bolting upright, with shampoo suds running down my face and clothes, I put the karate chop on both of them as I glared and spat, "I can't take it anymore.  Here's what Thanksgiving is all about."  I mentioned Plymouth Rock, the Mayflower, pilgrims and their escape from religious persecution, Jamestown, starvation and death in the colony, harvest, God, Indians, and added tidbits about crops, cultivating, and the foods that would have been served.  "Oh," said the guy not taking any personal responsibility,  "you must have gone to Powers.  I went to Grand Blanc."   "No," I corrected, as I shot him the skunk eye, "I went through the Chicago Public School System in the 1970's and paid attention."

Focus

Think happy thoughts.

 Back to the dishes and the decorating. 

John, our oldest son who resides in the Big Apple, is turning 30 years old next month and I took the opportunity, with the whole family present, to sneak in a birthday cake

and a boisterous round of 

"Sto Lat" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYTK9im4dyc 

 

THE BIRTHDAY CAKE

What goes into a birthday cake?

Sift and stir, and beat and bake

A cake that must be grand and fine

For a great big boy of nearly nine!

"What will he be when he grows up?"

High hopes are raised on the rolling board!

Fond, foolish memories that mothers hoard,

And love too full for a measuring cup!

Quick fear for the hurts the future holds,

Fierce anger, too, for the men of might

Who leave a world of pain and fright

As a heritage for nine-year-olds!

What goes into a birthday cake?

Sugar and salt, and smiles and tears,

Butter and eggs, and hopes and fears.

Sift and stir, and beat and bake;

That's what goes into a birthday cake!

~Victoria Chase

The Pig Whisperer

A city child came running into the farm house.  "No wonder that momma pig is so big!  There's a bunch of little pigs under her, blowing her up."
 

Bacon calls to me.  It can wake me up from a sound sleep if I smell it.  Bacon goes on, with, or next to every edible thing on the planet and it should be classified as its own food group.  Cooking it was a challenge until I realized that frying it up in strips is so "Old School."

Here's my Pig Whispering Frying Method: 

• (1)  Use scissors to cut the slab into 1-1/2" sections. 
• (2) Separate the sections in a frying pan, pop on a lid, and sizzle using medium heat.

• (3) Stir every so often.
• (4) Inhale deeply and let the aroma transport you to heaven and back.
• (5) Do not drain.  Watch and let it spark and pop in its own juices until a rich, deep crispy color is achieved.  
• (6) Place finished pieces on a platter that is lined with a paper towel.  Enjoy!  

I use the leftovers (yeah, right) in salads and on sandwiches the next day.  Sometimes, I get smart and cook up two packages at a time just so I have leftovers for the week.



How does a pig write home?  With a pig pen.  Why did the pig go to the casino?  To play the slop machines.  What do you call a pig with three eyes?  A piiig.    Did you hear about the pig who starting hiding her food in November?  She wanted to do her Christmas slopping early.  How did the pig beat the cow at Monopoly?  He built hotels on Pork Place.  Is it true that a barrel of pigs went over Niagra Falls?  No, that's just a bunch of hogwash!

Color Me Fall

14 Point Boone & Crockett Buck Harvest Dec 4, 2011

In Coon Rapids, Iowa on the Macke Ranch

An 11 year old named Tanner found this buck's antler shed from the year before
and gave it to John as a gift.  It really meant a lot to him. 

 

Here is the Iowa buck's horns next to the horns of the biggest deer John

has previously harvested.  Night and Day!

I love everything about this picture below.  It might be in my top 10.

"INSTANDITY"

At 5 a.m. on November 15, Two Thousand Every Year, I am whipping up a deluxe breakfast for all the big swamp buck hunters on our farm.  Day One:  Eggs sunny side up, grilled sausage patties, buttered toast with cinnamon pear jam, and a fruit and yogurt parfait topped with granola.  Day Two: Maple syrup covered waffles, sizzling bacon, english muffins and a pineapple chunk kicker.

Gramps is doing the coffee pot shuffle as he fills the thermos bottles, John sticks his head outside, consults his I-phone weather app, does the old lick your finger trick to verify the wind direction and speed so that he can then delegate hunters to a good spot.  If memory serves me right, he has 32 blinds and tree stands on our property.  Last I checked, that's 8 per man.

DEER CAMP VIRTUAL SHOPPING CART:

• Tinks #69 Doe-In-Rut Buck Lure
• Code Red Buck Urine
• Tactical Bacon
• Hot Buck Scent
• Scent Blocker Spray Set
• 52 StealthWildlife Cameras
• Rattling Antlers, Deer Calls, Laser Head Lamp
• Couple Jars Doe Estrus
• Dead Down Wind Spray
• Charcoal Suit, Sprays are just a start.

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:  The Butt Out Tool.

Really?  Is THAT necessary?

As the guys let the 'ol coffee work on their systems and get dressed, I get all the bag lunches ready.  Now here's where I have a little fun with 'em.  Each day I put something in there like hard boiled eggs, broccoli with dip, three bean salad, cauliflower, etc.  By day three, I make sure to put extra napkins in their sacks too.  Each lunch has a meaty sandwich, some jalapeno cheese, cashews, granola and candy bars, maybe some chips and jerky bites.  John texted me from his blind yesterday asking me where the almonds were in his Hershey Bar.  I texted back that he should be looking for deer instead of looking for his nuts.

Adam makes his way out to "his spot".  It became his spot when he was 14 years old.  John put the boys far away from him because he thought they would make a lot of noise and wreck his hunting.  Turns out Adam's spot has produced some real monster bucks on our farm so now Dad has to ask Adam's permission to hunt there.   So far, though, we haven't bagged anything this year, despite all that lovin' from my oven. 

Am I the only person who notices that all the shows on the Outdoor Channel are nothing short of obnoxious infomercials?  John keeps the TV remote flicking between football, Fox News, and the Outdoor Channel.

This gives me plenty of time to work up some stuff cabbage rolls or kielbasa for dinner.  My only hope is that it hits him like a freight train at half-time so I can watch Dancing With The Stars.







Some of the bucks harvested on our farm.

Veteran's Day Celebrated in a Unique Way

Veteran's Day is a sacred day to me.  I cherish my freedoms and recognize that they came by way of suffering, bloodshed, and loss beginning with the Revolutionary War.   When I heard there was a proper flag burning ceremony to retire or dispose of worn United States flags in a National Park in Kentucky, I went to pay my respects to Old Glory and shake the hands of the men and women who have served our country.

The Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, ROTC, Army Reserves, and U.S. Park Rangers were present to retire the flags, cut them properly, and dispose of them by fire.  All the Veterans in the community were asked to come forward and we said the Pledge of Allegiance.  Some of the older Scouts read stories about famous flags and gave some history.

There were many people in the community who had a son, daughter, brother, sister, mom or dad serving in the Middle East.  We shared hugs and true American spirit.

We watched as the flag's stripes were separated from her field of blue.  Each section was burned separately and saluted.

The event ended with everyone singing the National Anthem while a fresh, new flag was hoisted up to reign over this great land.